AcWriMo Reflection 7

Today’s reflection is about the structural logic of my writing.

What helped my manuscript come together the first time was settling on six thematic areas under which to organize the posts: Just a Teacher, Just a Wife, Just a Mother, Too Loud, Too Emotional, Too Much. These were really good umbrellas to help me think about what I was including and why, as well as what I was trying to say.

But it appears it isn’t enough, because thematically, there still isn’t any arch or order that an external reader can hang on to. They also aren’t AT ALL in chronological order. I address that in my introduction, especially because I experience time differently as someone with ADHD:

The ADHD world is curvilinear. Past, present, and future are never separate and distinct. Everything is now. People with ADHD live in a permanent present and have a hard time learning from the past or looking into the future to see the inescapable consequences of their actions.

I purposefully resisted imposing a traditional chronological order on the text because I wanted readers to experience memories and reflection the way I do. But then, it appears to need something else, because my logic isn’t the same as most people’s logic, making it hard for a reader to navigate.

This entire process so far, I’ve avoided picking up my manuscript and re-reading it. Part of me doesn’t want to because I’m afraid I won’t see what needs to be done, and then the manuscript dies. Part of me is just tired of reading it. But this prompt, today, is saying, re-read it. Even if I just map it out for myself, it might help makes more sense of it.

Let’s hope so.

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